One of the Hardest Parts of Being a Mom (That No One Prepares You For)
One of the hardest parts of being a parent, especially in the early years, is getting out of the house with your baby. If you know, you know.
Picture this: It’s winter in Indiana. It’s been snowing for days. You’ve been inside for days. The walls feel like they’re closing in, and all you want is to wander the aisles of Target with a coffee in hand and feel like a human again and maybe spark a conversation with another adult or maybe not. So you commit.
To get out the door, you change the baby, dress the baby in the warmest layers, pack the diaper bag, and head outside. Here’s where it gets good. How many trips on average do you make to the car? You're lucky if you have your car in the garage and if not, add one more trip to clean off or dig out your car. Another trip to the car to warm it up. Then another trip to carry the car seat out. Oops, you forgot the diaper bag. That’s trip number four. You’re already sweating and mildly annoyed, but you push on.
You arrive at Target, pull out the carseat-stroller-in-one and suddenly life feels exciting again. Starbucks. Target. Adult interaction. Bliss.
An hour later, you check out, hit the bathroom, and head back to the car. Except, school pickup is in 40 minutes. Not enough time to go home and back. So you wait. You sip your latte and enjoy the silence while the baby sleeps in the carseat.
You eventually make it home and unload the car:
Target bags
School bags
Diaper bag
Baby sleeping in carseat
Four trips later, phew, you made it. How many of us live this story weekly? It’s exciting. It’s necessary. And it’s exhausting. Car kid loading is a sport. Sweating and grunting absolutely included.
Mama, I know you need your time out. You need something to look forward to. You need to get yourself and your kids out of the house. But let’s pause for a moment and ask: aside from your aching back… is anyone else struggling here? Can we do a better job of car kid loading?
Let me enlighten you. Look at Car Kid Loading from the lens of a pediatric physical therapist. What does it mean for your baby to spend 2-3 hours in a car seat? Yep; If you're like many others, you may not have even noticed your baby just spent 2–3 hours in a car seat, without a meaningful change in position. This blog is not intended to blame or point fingers, rather build knowledge, change patterns and empower parents to make better choices for their children’s benefit. Hear me out. I know you need your time BUT your baby also needs position changes, practice socializing, sensory exploration. Why can’t we have both (satisfy Mom AND BABY).
Maybe we are onto something here..
Pause, and have an open mind as I explain. Babies already have limited independent mobility. They’re still learning how to move against gravity; rolling, sitting, crawling, standing. When they’re in a car seat, they’re essentially stuck in one position. This means limited movement, sensory input, exploration, and social interaction (they can’t see much past the padding). They mostly have their hands to explore. That’s it. Now you imagine yourself sitting in the same position for 2–3 hours, unable to move, isolated, and overstimulated all at once (think of a family car trip to Disney World, yep, got it). Cue the bathroom break.
What’s the issue, so what if my baby is in the carseat? Well, Momma you can do better for your baby. By making each experience outside the house rich, your baby will have an opportunity to learn and grow and these moments, while they seem small, will add up.
My next issue is with the carseat-stroller-in-one. What I’m about to say might feel controversial, but it’s my professional opinion as a pediatric physical therapist who works only with kids. You don’t have to agree. No firebacks necessary. Just stay open-minded.
Car seats and containers in general are not ideal for prolonged use. And no, most parents aren’t aware of how limiting they can be (myself included). Our babies look so cozy. So secure. So cute all tucked in. But developmentally? It’s not helping them when it becomes a frequent, default position. Now, as a Mom of three, I do recognize of course there are times when your child has to be in a car seat. That’s life. Safety matters. But I am talking more about the children who spend hours in the carseat- add it up one day. What I want you to recognize is how we can do better, once we know better.
The car seat and other containers are traps, physically. Some car seats with stroller attachments create a seamless transition from: House → Car → Store → Car → House. That convenience is REAL! It’s stress-reducing for parents. And I get it. But the tradeoff is limited movement, sensory experiences, exploration and social interaction. So, what should you do instead?
You can make community trips more developmentally rich. Here’s a realistic, doable list of things you can do:
Transition to a convertible car seat as soon as your baby is safely able
(always follow your specific car seat manual for guidelines on timing and rear- vs forward-facing.) Bypass purchasing a two-in-one car seat stroller (there I said it).Carry your baby in and out of the car or store when possible
Consider babywearing (like a wrap, ring sling or soft structured baby carriers). Carrying your baby engages the baby in sensory experiences as the baby moves with you, it is great for bonding and napping. BONUS: strangers will be less likely to touch your baby if you wear babywear!
Use warm layers like a hat and blanket for quick transitions instead of relying on the car seat for warmth
Place your baby in the shopping cart
For wobbly sitters, place a bag of potatoes or oranges on either side for support
(And if you don’t buy them? Just leave them at the checkout). Do the t-shirt trick, use an old, large t-shirt as a shopping cart cover. Place the t-shirt upside down on the cart, each arm hole is a slot for the baby's feet, stretch the bottom of the shirt over the seat and handle the bar.
Tell me more about the shopping cart, what’s the big deal?
The cart is a gem, it’s a rite of passage for our kids, the world opens up when they sit up! When your baby sits in the cart, they are working hard through their core to balance as you stop and start, turn and back up the cart. They have boundaries which help to keep them safe and moreover, the baby is close to eye level so it makes for a beautiful social experience with their favorite person, you! The baby gains sensory input from movement in which they use to learn about their body. The baby is able to visually explore the environment and the people/things around them. The baby can practice grasping the handle bar to improve grip strength.
If you're like me, I know what you’re thinking: Ew, the cart. Fair. Here’s a simple fix, use the store’s wipes, bring your own, or do the t-shirt trick. No need to purchase a $30 shopping cart cover.
Now that you understand the detailed benefits of sitting in the cart, let’s zoom out on your trip to Target. If you use these strategies, your baby will have changed positions multiple times, had meaningful movement, engaged with their environment and got a workout! And you? You still got your Target run. BONUS: You didn’t have to lug the carseat-stroller container in and out of the store! WIN!
What is the take away? Getting out of the house as a parent is hard. This post is not judgemental. It is meant to educate you, to help you pause and think about what you're doing. It’s meant to teach you how to be the best parent you can be. Small changes can make those outings better, not just for your body, but for your baby’s development too. You deserve to get out. Your baby deserves to move. Both things can be true. 💛
Quick Recap: Car Kid Loading and the Container Trap
Getting out of the house with a baby is hard work, especially in winter, and parents need outings for their mental health
While car seats and stroller systems are incredibly convenient, prolonged time in any container can limit a baby’s movement, sensory input, and interaction- best practice is safe floor play where baby can move and explore freely
Babies thrive on position changes, movement, and exploration, even during everyday errands
Community trips can become developmentally rich with small adjustments
Carrying your baby, using a baby carrier, transitioning to a convertible car seat when appropriate, and sitting in the shopping cart all allow for more movement and engagement
Simple tools (like wipes or a T-shirt shopping cart cover) can make these options realistic and safe
The goal isn’t perfection, it’s awareness and balance
You don’t need to stop going out.
You don’t need to stop using your car seat.
Just look for opportunities to help your baby move, explore, and experience the world, one Target trip at a time 💛
Professional Disclaimer
The information shared in this blog is for educational purposes only and is not intended to replace individualized medical advice, evaluation, or treatment. Recommendations are based on general pediatric physical therapy principles and typical child development. Every child is unique, and developmental needs may vary.
Always follow your specific car seat manufacturer’s guidelines and consult your pediatrician or a licensed pediatric physical therapist with any questions or concerns about your child’s development, positioning, or safety.
If you have concerns about your child’s movement, strength, or overall development, a one-on-one assessment with a pediatric physical therapist is recommended.
Curious if Your Baby Is Getting Enough Movement?
If this blog made you pause, wonder, or think “I’m not sure if this applies to my baby,” you’re not alone and you don’t have to figure it out on your own.
At Firm Foundations, we offer FREE 15-minute consultations to answer your questions, observe your child’s movement, and help you feel confident about what’s next.